A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus Knock Knock Who's there? Not Jimmy -thatcooltyguy

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How many fingers do u have? 11 Start with left pinky count 10,9,8,7,6 then 6+5=11

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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What do you call a lot of goose in one place? geese

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Q:Why are all of the vampires extinct? A:AIDS is a serious disease. You shouldn't joke about it.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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I was flying in the sky but lost control and crashed. I woke up on the floor.

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whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

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What did the Muslim receive for Christmas? Nothing. Muslims don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why did hitler hate the jews... because the nazies had to pay the gas bill

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Your momma's so fat, diet and exercise would probably save her life!

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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