A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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A dog walks into a bar, followed by his blind owner.

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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Whats blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint.

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Why was the prison full of black people? Because they were all their for security internships.

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The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

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A duck flies into a bar. The bartender allows it to stay because it turns into a beautiful swan. The goose then lays a golden egg and the bartender stares in awe as a giant bean stalk grows out of the egg. He's ecstatic and really glad he let the flamingo stay with all the wonderful colors and magic going on.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Ill never forget the last phone conversation i had with my Jewish friend before he died due to the 9/11 incident. Friend:owejpq3jhp3qjopiqwejhriopjhaiophfioashiohwih13ioh3f2893hoiqehefioahfioahisdpahdfajdfopasjiopdfajdfopsajradalkdjakldja;hdfkl;adhlpa;dhfakl;dhkladhkadhlkhdjklahdjkgsdjkgbdqwgy3bi3grqbhgjkasjkdkasjdgjkadgskajgdkajdsgjkasgdad

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

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roses are red violets are blue last time i dropped something this hard it ended world war 2?

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You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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