Why did suzy get in the car? She wanted to go somewhere.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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Why couldn't the immigrant who was brand new to America hold a conversation with anyone? He was mute.

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There is a mom a dad and a son, they walk into the museum and the dad is in the bathroom.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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whats a parkour kid? someone who jumps off things and is a pre-teen with adhd

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Whats worse than the death of a celebrity? An anonymous person posting a joke on this site.

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What do you call a man with a gun in his mouth? Keith.

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Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing set? Because she didn't have any arms.

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What do you call a person who is black? A black person.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Q: Why did the black man win the 100 meter dash? A: Because ever since he heard of this event, he has spent weeks preparing for it.

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A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

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I shot a bitch.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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