Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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There once was a man from Nantucket... Who was fiscally responsible.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

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Is the glass half full or half empty? The liquid in the glass is not at exact half, so that question is not answerable.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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whats the difference between a black and a bunk bed? a bunk bed can support 2 kids.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue This joke isn't funny And neither are you!

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3 Men walk into a bar, they all order up a drink. And then they paid their tabs and left.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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Who is a pussy ass bitch and is and has a chode? - Jeff Misner

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Roses are red Violets are blue Chrome won't stop crashing randomly F*ck Chrome

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why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

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What's worse than a black guy? Two black guys....and a dead white man.

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Just want to know where I will be dipping my... MANFLESH!

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Hey Babies, The holocaust called, they want their screams back

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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Hey I just met you and this is crazy this song doesn't rhyme penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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