whats the differnce between a cadilack and a pile of dead babies? theres no cadilack in the back of my car1 >.>

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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What did the lawyer say to the Black man? Your case came through, the murderer of your wife has been caught

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How many blond girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, it is a faily simple task

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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epic win?

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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Your mother is so ugly that nobody wants to date her because she is hideous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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