The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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B==========D-------------------------- im pissin man! god!

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

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Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your best friend. No it's not, you stupid repo man...I'M NOT OPENING THE DOOR.

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whats nun plus nun two nuns haha!! from jarod :}

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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"I have a job perfromance review today!" Earl told his wife. "Good luck, I will make you a special dinner tonight," Melinda, his wife, responded.

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a guy walked into a bar, ordered a drink, sipped it slowly thinking of his waisted youth. then he finished his drink and went home to his wife of 34 years

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All dogs are mammals. All cats are mammals. Therefore, all dogs are cats.

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What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Knock knock Whos there? Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Who's there?! "is anyone home this is Helan Keller"

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Knock, Knock... Whose there? No one... you have no friends.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Why was the black man pulled over on his way to KFC? Because he ran a red light.

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What do you call a computer running Windows DOS? Obselete

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What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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