What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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What do you call justin bieber haveing sex with a lady? A dream

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Why didn't suzzana go to school on Monday?? Because it was Sunday...I lied about it being monday

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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What happened when Tim's house caught on fire? The fire department was contacted and they put the fire out.

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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a white van was driving really slow and he stopped in front 3 children. "do you want some candy" the old man said. the kids took the candy and the old man drove away happily, knowing he made someones day.

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Sickman Fraud, cocaine snorting alshole... "Oh yeah mommy I love raping you so much... What where are you? This cocaine is really bad quality man! The effect was so short..." Your friendly r*pist neighborhood Moral Man: "Because since when do you really need cocaine... ...In order to rape your mother?"

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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What's faster than a black man running with a VCR? His son with the receipt of purchase as they realize VCR's are clearly outdated and must be returned right away.

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why did benny go to the 4th grade school nurse? he had a massive erection.

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epic win?

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

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how to turn invisable. eat yourself

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What do you call a boomerang that wont come back? Broken.

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One time at band camp.............that's it........

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We was all sat down at the table ready to eat then Gary must've said something to Lucy because she just burst into tears and left the table.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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