I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender calls animal control.

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How do you get a baby to start crying? Drop a brick on it. How do you get it to stop crying? Drop two bricks on it.

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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69

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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How do you piss off a moose? You throw popcorn at it

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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What do you call a baby girl that has grown up? A women

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

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Lol, okay you have made Nero of the clan of the Moralians the mighty laugh and go aww... Seriously, first of all, WHAT THE FUCK IS NAUSEUS? Secondly, okay its Ridge Racer, close enough, aww, seriously that sounds like the cutest thing, I mean did you bleed? DID YOU HARM YOURSELF! DELIGHTFUL... Moral: Seriously though, seeing you tilt over while playing a racing game, kinda cute, just put a pillow there next time you know just saying, because I play videogames, I cant go sexytime for hours without pumping some ADRENALINE INTO MY MIGHTY ROD OF STONEFLESH!

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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Nickelback

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What did the fish want to drink? Charlie Brown

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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