So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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Q: What did the air freshener say to the car??? A: Nothing. Air fresheners are inanimate objects

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Why did I lose a card game to a cat? Cause he was a cheetah!

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If Hitler, Osama Bin Laden, and Charlie Sheen were in a room together and you had a gun with two bullets, who would you shoot? Well Hitler and Bin Laden are already dead, and Charlie probably wouldn't die. Plus, I honestly don't think I could bring myself to shoot someone.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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What did the Frenchman say to the Englishman? I don't know, I don't speak French.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q: There is an Elf King, King Kong, and Godzilla all on the empire state building. Which one jumps first? A: None, because none of them exist.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why is this joke hilarious? Because it isn't.

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Why is Easter better than christmas? Theres a significantly less chance of getting raped by a man in a Santa Claus costume.

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Why did the man buy his wife expensive flowers? It was their anniversary and he is a faithful husband.

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Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

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why did sally fall of the swing? because she had no arms... knock knock? (whos there) not sally

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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Why did a homeless man eat another man's face off? Because he was hungry.

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What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

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The Oakland Raiders

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Why are you gay? Because ***** you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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