My Jimmy Saville advent calendar is rubbish. It only opens from 1 to 16.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

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What's the difference between an iPhone and a Samsung Galaxy? Google it, there are many differences.

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Roses are blue Violets are too I've got Alzheimer Roses are red

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How do you put an elephant in a taxi? You open the door, make sure the elephant is seated confortably, and close the door.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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Penis

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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what's worse than people who aren't funny? ryan vallee

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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A bloke walks into a bar. He doesn't say 'ouch' because it was a public house and not a hard surfaced object as you may have thought initially

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What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

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Anti-jokes are funny.

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why did the man pee in public? ... he couldnt hold it in.

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

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Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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