A: Knock Knock.. B: Who's there? A: John B: John Who? A: Shut the hell up, i'm masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Actually, Ylvis had a dog named Say. When he peed in the studio one evening, Ylvis said, "What the fuck, Say?"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call an Amerindian who finished medical school? A doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This joke is stupid, Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a group of white males wearing hoods and setting fires? Cold

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Three black men walk into a gas station and don't steal anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops