Neither have I

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What did Harry get for his Birthday? Nothing nobody likes Harry.

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

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he took my chicken i shoot him in the foot and raped his dog

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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why did the clown go to the graveyard? because he was dead

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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what do you call a Nice Nazi A Nazi... He's still a Nazi.

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A man walks into a bar and orders 12 shots. "8?" Asks the bartender, to verify he had heard correctly. He feels unsure of giving the man 12 shots but does so anyways due to his financial situation and he hopes for a generous tip. Afterwards, the man kills 9 people in a car crash due to his level of intoxication and the bartender seeps into depression due to his feeling of guilt.

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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What do you call a lesbian with a penis? Justin Bieber.

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Who enslaves small people and forces them to work in his factory all year round in ridiculous outfits. Santa

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Knock knock. Its open.

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jack and jill went up the hill to get a bucket of water. jack fell down and broke his ankle and neck severely. jack and jill were taken away from their parents by child services, and their parents are charged for child endangerment and child labor.

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why did the chicken cross the road? i have no idea, i dont know what goes on in a chicken's brain. the better question would be why was a chicken loose in a city

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A blond is on her way driving to the airport when she sees the sign "Airport left." She made a left turn and got to her flight on time.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops