Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Q: What is the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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-Hey cute blonde! -I'm not blonde.. -Nor are you cute.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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How did the Mexican cross the border without getting caught? He didn't; he was executed immediately.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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