What was the babies first word? Nothing: It was a still-born.

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1: Why did Suzie have no arms and no legs? 2: Why? 1: Knock Knock? 2: Who's there? 1: Not Suzie

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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What is Black, White and Asian? A Panda Bear

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What did the woman say to the jew? Do you want an almond?

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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the redsox

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Why didn't he finish his

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Roses are red, Violets are rare because of the irreversible damage to our ecosystem in recent years.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Please ignore this statement.

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what do you get when a penguin has a heart atack pengatack

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What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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