good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why does pavement get hot. Because it’s black. How could you tell she had bruises. Because they were black. Why did the boy drop out of school. Because he was dying of melanoma.

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

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Why didn't Fred answer his phone? Because Fred is a tree.

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If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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So yesterday i walked into a bar, so what?

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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whats worse than taking a refrigerator to the face? the holocaust and AIDs

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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knock knock..... ding dong...... knock knock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they weren't home

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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why was the black guy smelly? because his white friend threw him in a dumpster

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what do you call a cow on a rollercoaster? a very dangerous and unlikely event

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Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

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Why was the lady afraid of rocks? Because her husband was stoned.

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“It doesn’t take a lot to turn me on” – William Deane

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What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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