Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not answer because he is a horse, and neither speaks nor understands the english language. He looks around, and is confused by his surrondings. He gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I am green. You are blue. Jokes are infinite. This is too.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

u are so............................................................................................................................................................................................gay

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats bigger than 'burger king'? A. burger

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what do you call the man making meth in his basement? the police to stop inappropriate behavior from reaching the children of society.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Knock Knock who's there its black george washington.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops