A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

thumb_up thumb_down -8

So a guy is on his way to work and he nearly gets hit by a bus. He sticks his middle finger up at the bus driver but a couple seconds later he realized that it was the same bus he was supposed to get on so he apologized to the bus driver and got on the bus. He was 15 minutes late for the 420th time this week so he was fired from his job and went back home. On his way home he was not allowed on the bus because he left his oyster card somewhere so he had to walk home. 69 minutes later he arrives home to his wife and kids. What did the man say to his wife when he got back home? "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

thumb_up thumb_down -8

DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Hellen Keller say to her baby cousin? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do mermaids wear? Nothing. Mermaids don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the puerto rican cross the road? To get back to his country, but then he realized there wasn't a road then fell in the ocean and drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the fork say to the spoon? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A muslim man takes a flight to New York. He lands safely at JFK airport.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the dinosaur say to the human? For one, dinosaur's don't talk. And two, humans were not roaming the Earth during this time.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the different between a white guy and a black guy? The white guy makes his money, and the black guy steels the white guys money.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Because the light was green.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops