Why couldn't the girl call her boyfriend? Because she is homeless and can't afford to buy a phone.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Did you hear about the Irish man that accidently killed himself,he farted in the bath & drowned trying to smell it

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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I like to thumb up my own jokes.

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why do cow say moo? Because you touch yourself at night

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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Why did the black man lose his leg? Because he was kidnapped and tortured.

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How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

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ejaculation JLR

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but smell this towel, you won't remember a thing.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the bulb, one to suck my dick!

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How do you make a baby stop crying? You slit it's throat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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