Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

What's a foot long and slippery? A slipper.

Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

whats similar between a chicken and an alligator they both gobble except for they alligator

Double-whammy

Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

Exercise Ex - Er - Cise Ex - Ar - Size.. Eggs Are Sides For bacon.. BACON

"The only thing worse than being talked about is getting AIDS." -Oscar Wilde

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What do you call someone that blows up a plane? Nothing you were on that plane

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers and the middles for you

What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Whats better than winning an award? Not having your family shot to death

Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He was killed in action and his family misses him terribly.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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