What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a rabbit? A dead rabbit...

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Two doctors were performing open heart surgery on a 54-year old woman. The surgery was a success, and she is now living comfortably in Portland, OR. She enjoys sweet tea.

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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What starts with "P" and ends with "orn"? Popcorn

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Why did to plane crash because the pilot was a tomato

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Anti-Joke is a sticky wicket.

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"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

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Q: what is the best way to pick up jewish chicks. A: with a pickup line and possibly a gift such as chocolates or flowers

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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What 10 inches long and wont be getting sucked this valentines day? Whitney Houstons crack pipe

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What worse than seeing a worm in your apple? Half a worm in your apple.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michaelangelo.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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