Who went shopping on Saturday? There is a reason I put a question mark there, so you guys could reply. Not so I could respond myself.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Jebron Lames.

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

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A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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I got 99 problems and they're all related to long history of drug abuse

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what kind of person would you call dumb the ones who read anti jokes

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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why has kallum just changed clothes to speak to a counsellor because he's socially awkward and has no peers

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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Please save our environment :) Dont use electricity. Use gas! Like Hitler.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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A catholic priest and Jerry Sandusky walk out of an elementary school.

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, I died because I didn't have a heart.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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