Q: what did the old man do to the little boy in his dark cellar while babysitting on a stormy night? A: told him to hold a flashlight because the power went out and he needed to find his electric generator.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Betty White's wrinkly ass skin.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your mumma is so fat, she has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Shaggy say to Scooby before they got in the Mystery Machine? Scooby, get in the Mystery Machine.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

this isn't meant to be a joke, but just letting all of you know, inside jokes don't count and kony jokes aren't funny

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did one ginger say to the other We have red hair

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The Mexican; the black man had too much alcohol and the Mexican was the designated driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops