Why did the woman say ow? She was shot in the foot

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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How do you confuse a blonde? put her in a circular room and tell her to stand in the corner

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

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What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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Mike lost his arms in a car accident. Knock knock Who's there? Not Mike.

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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nick and a mexican were in a falling plane.. nick ate the mexican... that is all..

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What do two black guys do when they walk into the convienent store with masks? Buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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