Why am i so sexy? Because a dog raised me.

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Hey have you seen Stevie wonders house? No? Don't worry he has'nt either.

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One day a woman wrote a letter to her husband whom was at war. He received it, read it, and was happy to know she was thinking of him.

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I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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cory is gay

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Be sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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Why did the cow cross the road? The slaughter yard was on the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

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Hey, I just met you And this is Crazy I have Amnesia I like trains.

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Rose are red, Violets are blue Your cat is dead Turkey

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she is legally blind

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Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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why do woman love the twilight books? i have no idea woman can't read

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q:What do you tell a deaf person? a:nothing.

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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Why was lil' Susie screaming horrifically? Nobody knows. That's why the neighbors called the cops. -Harrison

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What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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