Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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A: Why is that boy on the ground? B: He fell. A: Why did he fall? B: He tripped. A: Why did he trip? B: I tripped him. A: Why did you... B: BECAUSE I WANTED TO!

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What's sad about black people that drink grape soda and eat fried chicken? The stereotypes are true.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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Why are female badgers more attracted to the smell of cheese than male badgers? I don't know. Ask Bill Snodgrass

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What do you call a Mexican policeman? Officer.

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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jordan godfrey is good looking lolololol

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What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

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What did the woman say when the man got her flowers? "Why thank you."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was mentally retarded and didnt know any better.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Inform her that she is an illegitimate child resulting from a vicious, torturous rape and that her mother will never truly love her.

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My son made a tree fort, it burned down.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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How do you get an elephant in the fridge in three moves open the door, put it in, close the door How do you put an giraffe in the fridge in four moves open the door, take out the elephant, put the giraffe in, and close the door

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yo mamma so ugly I think she has cancer

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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96

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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