Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What do you call a blue bucket? A blue bucket. What do you call a red bucket? A blue bucket in disguise.

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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What's worse than being fired? Eating a bucket of diarrhea.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Bob Saget

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens have no sense of direction, he might have thought he was in wal-mart for all I care.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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what has wheels and drives? a boat i lied about the wheels

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the lemon was sweet.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

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WILLYS

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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roses are red violets are blue i've got alzheimer's ...

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops