What did the black man say to the watermelon? Watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

rent a cops

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. I don't see why there should be more.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

field day?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man told this joke once... it wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was the man choking? He was eating to fast.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a black person flying an airplane? The pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because animals walking across a paved street is a very common occurrence ever since the industrialization of the modern world.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Thank you for flying Buzzy Fly Airlines. Today we'll be flying around Uranus.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whats the difference between a black guy and pizza? a pizza can feed a family.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call a Koala bear that does not have a chin? A Koala bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Antijokes...

thumb_up thumb_down -15

whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's red and weighs a metric ton? An apple, my scale wasn't calibrated

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops