What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I told him to. I'm very influential.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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What do you call a poor man on the side of the rode asking for money? A poor man on the side of the rode asking for money.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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Why did the TV not turn off? You need to use a remote.

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what did the man say to the sad woman? go make ma a sammich before i hit you again! the women refused and was hit again.

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Q: What did the ant say to the bush? A: Ernest Borgnine

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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Why did it look like the girl peed herself? Because she peed herself

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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Women's rights

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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What's round and orangey? An orange.

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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CAOIMHIN. IVE BEEN DOING MY WORK SINCE IVE STARTED THIS CLASS. YOU'VE STARTED THIS WHOLE THING. I WROTE BIG MAC'S AND THATS IT. SO STFU

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Q. Why dont people like rian mcreesh ? A. Because he smells bad and gives off a creepy vibe ...

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Aodhans da is Mr.Bradly and he dosnt know what coordinates are, 180 anti-clockwise,he has "the key to examination success is revision and homestudy tattooed on his chest, his das herbert the pervert, his mas a taxcollector and on the dole, his da sits on the roof eating biscuits, cleaning the satilite dish, he gets his pubes shaved in gordans chemist, he uses mcdonaldsd wifi, hes a fruit fly and he can stop global warming by shaking his head!!!!!!!!

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Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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