why were the negros at whitney houstons funeral smiling? because there were free sandwiches!

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P1: why did the chicken cross the road? P2: to get to the other side. P1: Knock! Knock! P2: whos there? P1: THE CHICKEN!

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What did the piano say to the guitar? "G, it's not A nice day. B careful, Dee." What did the guitar say to the piano? "F you!" What did the piano reply? "Eek! C you later!"

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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what is the germans word for fat dick what is very fat hairy dick

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What did John look at when Meghan Fox took off her shirt? her undershirt

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

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a piece of string walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry we dont serve your kind here” so the string goes outside twists himself round and ruffles up one of his ends then walks back into the bar, the bartender says “aren’t you the piece of string i just kicked out?” the string then replies “i’m a frayed knot”

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Whats worse than biting an apple with a worm in it? Getting stabed until you died and being fed to your own children....... twice

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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What's worse than getting in a car accident? Being turned into dust and swarmed by bees while on fire

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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woman's rights

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic, it's destroy his family and career.

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Whats worse than your house on fire? an orphanage catching on fire. Whats wosre than an orphanage catching on fire? A bunny farm catching on fire.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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How do you make a little boy cry? Slap the cookie out of his hand.

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How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

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A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops