Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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There once was a man from Duluth who's never did rhyme. They were often too short.

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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What's the difference between sand and menstral blood? I can't gargle sand

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Why did the weiner dog puncture Doris's bladder? It got carried away during an oral sex session.

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Why did the white guy die because he had cancer

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You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What's the best thing about the Pixies? Their music.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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Whats slower than molasses? A dead baby.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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Knock Knock Who's there May I come in? May I come in who? . . .What's wrong with you can I come in or not?

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? the pigment in their skin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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