Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Q:Why was the black guy carrying a gun A:He's a cop

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Hail Hitler

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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Why do thieves shower before undertaking a robbery? Probably part of their morning routine.

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What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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Uh... What was emulating again?

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Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

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Why did the boy fall of his BMX? Because someone threw a dish-washer at him.

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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What's funnier than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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Why do white people not eat crackers? Cause it's cannabalism.

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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Why did the nervous man jump out of a plane? He was sky diving.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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