What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

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What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

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Q. What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A. A gay bar

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how do stick a dead baby into a blender and why???????? feet first so u can see the reaction on top.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why not zoidburg? Because Zoidburg is a alien from another planet and the human population is probally afraid to talk to him do to the potential danger of alien contact.

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womens rights

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A little boy had a candle by his bedside. It fell over. The candle was fake, and it didn't burn down his house. When he woke up, he picked up the candle, put it back on his nightstand and had a wonderful day.

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charly ate an apple. the apple was filled with poison and charly died.

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What is white, black, and red all over? A: A zebra being slaughtered.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? Using teamwork and coordination, each can place one foot on the seat of the stool, and using each other for balance and support, they can all stand on the stool. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What the difference between a ferarri and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a pile of dead babies in my garage. That would be murder.

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Why did you chicken cross the road? C u n t.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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