What did the murderer do after killing the family? he went to jail.

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Why did the homeless man decide it was time to get off the streets? He wanted to save face.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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What is a pirate's favorite movie? A pirated movie.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what do you call when a penis is inside a vagina? sex

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What's the simularity between a eagle and a rock? They both fly, exept for the rock.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Q:Why did the Mexican cross the border? A:To come to America to provide for his starving family.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

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Once ther was a happy little boy and he was just playing with his dinosaur when he was hit by the school bus that was supposed to take him to school. The End

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Q: Where was Moses when the lights went out. A: In the dark.

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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why cant fat people walk because they are fat

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He died of alcohol poisoning that day

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

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Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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