so a jewish man walks into a bar. He looks at the bartender and says...this better be free

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This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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What do a goat and an eagle have in common? They both can fly, except for the goat.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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If somebody stabs you in the forehead, you are likely to get injured.

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A kid walks into a bar, everyone fled the bar because they were all afraid of goats

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sally. I don't know anyone by that name, please go away.

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I'll have a chocolate milkshake, hold the onions.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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Next Q: What's worse than a bee sting? A: Two bee stings. Q: What's worse than two bee stings? A: Three bee stings. Q: What's worse than three bee stings? A: Sexual assault.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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like most people my age. im 27

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What should you give your Italian plumber for a refreshment? Water, because he's probably working so hard that he's thirsty.

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How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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Why did litltle Susie drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus Knock knock Who's there Not Susie

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Q: How many Babies does it take to paint a garage? A: babies do not have good motor skills therefore, they can not hold a paint brush.

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What do you call a black man standing on a sidewalk? Preferably race shouldn't matter in this situation, but in most social circumstances the man would be described as black to elucidate the person being depicted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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