Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Fine, ladies first.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man with one leg good at balancing on one foot? He used crutches.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

._____________________. Whale!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

roses are red violets are blue i have dementia its not funny

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mam is so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's your blood type? Red.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the joke feel paranoid? Because everyone kept laughing at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what goes in hard, comes out soft, and you blow on it? bubble gum!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a man walked into a bar. the bartender asked why he was annoyed. he answered " people keep on telling this joke and I'm tired of the making me get drunk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Never go into your parents room with a blacklight.. -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the car stop To buy drugs

thumb_up thumb_down -9

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks died in a school shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops