Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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how do u make a plummer cry? Kill his children.... :)

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Whats long hard and has seaman? A submarine!

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Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

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I <3 Hitler

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why'd my house get destroyed I was afraid the tornado that hit mass was going to destroy it so I blew it up

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

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What did the boy get at the bowling alley for his birthday? a corpse. *from Bones

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How do you not get disappointed at the ending for "Mass Effect 3"? Don't play the game, dumbass.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Q:a black man walks down the street with alot of light whats happaning he A:is it the parade of light

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There was a brunette, a blonde and a red head, They were all great friends!

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What did the fat lady order at McDonalds? Nothing because she forgot here wallet at home.

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Q: why wasn't the fan spinning? A: because it wasn't on. Duh....

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense? You watch a suspenseful TV program and pause at the right moment.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? AIDS

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A bartender sees Jesus Christ, George Washington, and Adolf Hitler walk into his bar. The bartender is drunk.

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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whats the difference between a ferrari in my garage, and a pile of dead babies in my garage. I do not have a ferrari but i do have a pile of dead babies

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares, it's a chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops