YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

thumb_up thumb_down

What's wrong with you? I have no idea.

thumb_up thumb_down

Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs falling skydiving? Jon, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down

One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

thumb_up thumb_down

Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's more traumatising than watching your dad raping a man? Watching a man raping your dad.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down

WHo owns a white van? JOSH!!

thumb_up thumb_down

So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

thumb_up thumb_down

An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the white man walk into the bar? He was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a bar and poops his pants. He left because of the embarrassment.

thumb_up thumb_down

eh

thumb_up thumb_down

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the baby cross the road? It was nailed to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down

whats green and slimy? green slim

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops