How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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What happens if a guy is gay? You call him Verl.

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Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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Why Didnt John Return any of his calls he was in a very serious car accident fell into a coma and will probablly will not wake up ever again

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Why was Jimmy upset? He wasn't.

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

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hey hey apple

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Why did the little boy sit next to the big boy? Because he wanted to get raped by big Jake!

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What is a dog's favorite color? Dogs are colorblind and can not see colors.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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They didn't stop pulling my hair i didn't stop pulling the trigger

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What did the murderer do to the dentist? Nothing, the murderer has served his time and is clean. But he did get his teeth cleaned.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops