What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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what's the difference between your grandmother and a dead squirrel? Technically, if you burn them both, your grandmother will produce more ash, but apart from that, they are both useless pieces of carbon.

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It's raining it's poring the old man died die to a sudden increase in blood pressure thus leading to a heart attack

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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How do you make time fly? You can't, time is the duration of events and therefore cannot "fly".

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why was the black mans shirt ripped? because he escaped genocide in africa

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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whats the hardest part about eating a vegitable getting your mouth around the wheelchair.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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What's the difference between a Jew and an apple? One of them is a fruit, and the other is not.

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Q: Why couldn't the little girl ride a bike? A: Because she didn't have legs.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Roses are red violets are green i can't rhyme bridge

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because that's where the oncologist's office is.

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

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Meanwhile in Josh and Dannys apartment....(Danny: I'm finally gonna play amnesia! Josh: You'll die Danny: No I won't Josh: Fine tell me when your done Danny: Ok Josh: Cya 3 Hours later Danny has been stuck in a part. Of the game because he was scared to leave that spot. He builds up the courage to leave there. He sees the monster screams Josh hears runs in the room his character died in the game as Danny has a violent seizure and dies. Josh mourns the death of his friend for years.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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How do you torture a turtle? If you came up with an answer to that question you are completely and utterly unethical and immoral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops