Roses are red Violets are blue I was diagnosed as criminally insane Wanna be my friend?

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A paralyzed person walks into a bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My fist

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do you get when you cross a child and jt Rape

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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Knock knock Who's there Fookie Fookie Who? Fook you too

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why did the man cross the road? To get to the homeless shelter.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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What would the funeral home do without a dead person? Wait until the next appiontment

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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your so vein that doctors find you really helpful when giving you injections

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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A barman walks into a bar. He works there.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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