why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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roses are brown violets are brown who shit on my garden?

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What looks like poo but is rainbow colored? Rainbow colored poo.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 95 in the ash tray.

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Why is this site popular? Because people don't read the terms of service.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? He got hit by the first one. Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game and wanted to play along.

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Knock Know Who's there? Not your dog, he just got run over.

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Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Why was the math book crying? Three men just brutally raped his wife.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the female lady person say to the baby? Get Some.

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"Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from. So, you should probably leave."

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CISSY: TIMMY! COME AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK THIS INSTANT TIM: ....................../´¯/) ....................,/¯../ .................../..../ ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸ ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯\ ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...') .........\.................'...../ ..........''...\.......... _.·´ ............\..............( ..............\.............\... *CISSY SMACKS TIMMY AND SENDS HIM TO HIS ROOM WITHOUT DINNER.

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knock, knock Who's there? A social worker, we are taking your children into costody because your wife has reported you to the police for molesting them.

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Why was the blonde fired from the factory? Repeated absences and violation of company policy.

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Your mom is so old, I am surprised she can still own a house and function on her own.

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A guy takes out his club and hits a baby seal with a fine for $50 for littering and threatens to smash the seal's favorite ceramic figurine with the club if he doesn't pay the fine. The man is a park ranger and takes littering very seriously.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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