An slutty attractive secretary went into her boss' office He killed her.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What starts with a 's' and ends in 'ex'? Sex -XH

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why are black people always so funny because they think of funny jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the walrus wearing braces? It wasn't, because it his highly unlikely that people would care about a walrus's dental issues. The walrus would most likely cope with his irregular teeth and move on with its life.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many gun shots does it take to kill you? 1..2... 3...4... Samantha reapeatedly kept shooting her enemy until she noticed that her enemy was Chuck Norris. So how many gunshots does it take to kill Chuck Norris? The world may never know.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Give me time to think of a joke hm..............hm.................hm....................hm....................mmm....................hm?..........................m m.....................mmmmm..............hm...................hm.....................hm......................... ah!i don't want to think of a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -12

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the police officer pull over a black guy? He was going over the appropriate speed limit for that area.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: What are the nine most terrifying words in the English dictionary? B: What are they? A: I'm from the government and i'm here to help

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A traveling salesman stops at a farmer's house. The farmer then offers the salesman a bed with his daughter. The salesman quickly replied, "I don't want to go to bed right now. I need to know the way to Pawtucket." The farmer then gave the salesman directions and the two parted ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Your mom.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What'd the black woman say when she met her husband's white mistress? Have you seen Jamal's socks?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you put a baby in a blender? Feet first, so you can see its expression. How do you get a baby out of a blender? With chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I have cancer. And you're next.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops