Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

one day a hippy and a nun wer on a bus, the hippy asks, Will you have sex with me? the none replies, heck no im a nun. the nun gets off the bus and the hippy follows. the bus driver stops him and says, i know how you can have sex with her, she goes to the cemitary at 9:00 every night, dress us as jesus and command her to have sex with you. okay thanks! the hippy says. that night the hippy dress's up as jesus finds the nun and says " i am jesus and i command you to have sex with me. The nun says okay but only A n a l because im a nun! and they get to it, when there done the hippy takes off his mask and says haha im the hippy, the nun takes off her mask and says haha im the bus driver!! like if you get it :)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Is that a gun? Or are you forcing your boner into my back? Or is it something completely different that shares the physical characteristics of guns and boners?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Do you work at subway? Because you are giving me a footlong. Yes, please, on white bread, with turkey, ham, white cheddar, and all of the vegetables. Maybe a little bit of sweet onion sauce and sub sauce. Sure, that will be a combo with chips. Thank you very much.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and a Lepricon were driving 100 MPH towards a brick wall and crash into it. Who survived? No one, they all died due to the rate of velocity that the car was traveling at.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's black and white and red all over? My dog after she was hit by a car (true story)

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Customer: Waiter, waiter, there is a fly in my soup! Waiter: Sorry madam.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black man and a white man are in a car. Which one is driving? A person who is legally allowed and physically capable of operating and automobile.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you tell the difference between a jew and a muslim? you ask them what their religion is.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the cupcake walk into the bar? It can't it's a cupcake

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My three children are three big mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A hermaphrodite walks into a bakery, orders an eclair, then leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than having AIDS? A piano falling on your left middle finger.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man buys cocaine from a shady dealer in an alley. He then goes home and experiments with it and other chemicals, and later on invents Coca Cola

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So there was once this cool little dude that had a purple nose. People would walk by on the streets and say, "Hey! That's a cool nose!" Purple nose man appreciated that they didn't pretend it wasn't there, and instead celebrated the diversity. The next day, he was scalped.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

. . I am a whale

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops