Two pretzels were walking down the street when one got assaulted...

thumb_up thumb_down +14

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the church say to the house? You need jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy Wuzzy launched a flare. Nobody came.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than a 6 dead babies in a dumpster? You were babysitting them.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little boy late for school? Because he was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down +14

the awkward moment when a fat person says they are fat

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school today? Because it is Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-I have an idea! Let's play twenty questions! -Alright! But i have to warn u I have piss running down my leg

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do elephants and grapes have in common? They are both purple arpart from the elephant, which is grey. I lied about it being purple

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops