Why did the man drink a glass of water? Why not?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened at the 21 year old's birthday? She tried alcohol for the first time. She partied. She danced, She's dead. Open case.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Have you seen Helen Keller's new car? Neither has Stevie Wonder.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Holy Fish Sticks Batman! Batman and Robin were at a church and saw a priest eating fish sticks.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red, violets are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

thumb_up thumb_down -5

http://media.photobucket.com/image/whale%20penis/marcus1v0/whale_penis2.jpg

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q:How can you tell an asian has just robbed your home? A: You took the necessary precautions to purchase a very high quality security system and you caught the whole thing on tape, and the man was arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

yay for the idiot that posted "whats white, sticky and yummy? milk". WTF dude? milk has never been sticky and good at the same time and its never going to be. infact, ive never known milk to be sticky, maybe after such a long period of being spoiled the milk becomes somewhat sticky, but your attempt at creating a perverted joke that wasnt in anyway funny or even close to being correct was so poor i feel the need to post this and hope you read it and decide returning to school would be beneficial to the rest of your life. I guarantee everyone who reads your post about milk being sticky is thinking something pretty similar to what i am.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the blonde make pasta even though she had a gluten allergy? She had some Italian friends coming over. Also she bought some gluten-free pasta and sauce so she wouldn't need to be hospitalized.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A monkey and his owner walk into a bar they sit down at the bar... I dont know the rest of the joke but your moms a whore

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How long does it take a black woman to have a baby? Nine months, give or take a few days depending on whether she goes into labour early or not.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

So i was writing a letter to my girlfriend on valentines day right ? So this is how it goes . " hey lisa happy volentines day!" my black friend walks up to me and says" its a mightyfine day out! " The moral of the story is... Tomatoes can't fly planes

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

what's the difference between a blue fridge falling off a cliff and a yellow one? the yellow one isn't falling of a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

thumb_up thumb_down -5

An airplane's engine suddenly blows up in the middle of its flight. The pilot turns around and sees a blonde and a brunette. He turns to his right and sees only two parachutes. The pilot says "Ok guys, only two-" Then the plane blows up.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops