roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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What do Jerry Sandusky and Michael Jackson have in common? They both had sex with little boys.

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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What do you can an astronaut with an apple? Never mind, I have a boner.

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a woman gives birth at the hospital in china and then the doctor comes in and says doctor- i have good news and bad news for your baby mother-what is it doctor- bad or good mother-bad doctor-the bad news is that the baby is a girl and the good news is that your baby has cancer

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Two drums and a sybol fall off the edge of a cliff. They hit a random pedestrian at the bottom killing him instantly. da-dum ch

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Yo mama is so fat she probably has diabetes, poor circulation in her extremities, and cannot ride anything at Disney World.

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Wal-mart didn't have the product I wanted. So I yelled at the manager until they had it. It didn't work and i was taken to jail.

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How many blondes does it take to screw a lightbulb? There's too little information to come up with a reasonable answer.

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A guy gets murdered, because of the Reco act the whole gang he belongs to goes to jail as well. They cry in their beds

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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How do you get a one armed man out of a tree? you throw a fridge at him

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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24

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Q: What did the dog say the cat? A: nothing, because dogs cannot speak, and even if they could, I highly doubt they would speak cat.

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Why did the man pull out his chainsaw? To get rid of a tree in his front yard.

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So, this cheerio is in love with a beautiful frosted cheerio. He asks her on a date. She says no, because she only dates other frosted cheerios. So the cheerio works really hard at his job and is promoted to a honey-nut cheerio. So he asks her out again. She says no because she only dates frosted cheerios. So he works even harder and is made a frosted cheerio. He asks her out again and she accepts. 4 months later after a relationship built on trust and understanding they are married and live a long and fullfilling life together.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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