How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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The Sentence Below Is True The Sentence Above Is False

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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"My dog doesn't have a nose" "How does it smell?" "It can't. It bled to death."

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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knock knock

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a man touches girls butt ...... she sharts her pants

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

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Poop

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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Roses are red Violets are blue... Violets are not blue they are actually purple

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doc, I blacked out last night and have a sore ass." The doctor took some x-rays and informed him he had colon cancer.

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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