Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My family is dead

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An Englishman, A Scotsman, a Welshman, an Australian, An American, A German, A Swede, A Kiwi, An Austrian, A Belgian, A Frenchman, A Chinese Guy, An Indian, A Turk, A Czech, A Canadaian, A Russian, A serbian, A Portuguese, A brazilian, An Argentine and a South African go in to a bar. The Security stops them and says "I'm sorry i can't let you in without a thai"

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Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

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If a tree falls in the forest, does anyone hear it? no, but it was home to several endangered species that are now extinct

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Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps in the air? He lands.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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What has hands but isn't alive? A dead person.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

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We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

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knock,knock whos there? teddybear. teddybear who? a teddybear killed your family.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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