How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

Q: What do you call a black man's car being egged? A: A Hate Crime

whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

A man rode into town on Friday and came out on Friday how did he manage this? He stayed for a couple of hours

Q: Why are black people so tall? A: Not all black people are tall, and if they are it is probably from their specific genes.

what's Mexicans favourite sport? Cross country.

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

roses are red violets are blue i'm a schizophrenic and so am i

Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

A mouse sniffed a peice of cheese. It was on a mouse trap and then it died in the trap.

Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

Why did I get thumbs down from everyone? Answer: Because they hate my anti-joke.

your brother so fine that hes skinney

Why were accents created? So when people go to Texas they come back sounding like a D-Bag.

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

Bryson got a concussion...he died

Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

What do you call a man running away from the bus? A man

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...