Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

What happened to your hamster? It died.

what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

What is the difference between a park bench and a Mexican? The park bench can actually suport a family A. Woj

A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

Why did the fish fly It didn't

Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

Why was the black family eating KFC? Because KFC tastes very nice and there was a discount on the family bucket.

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

Whats the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? Ones fun to jump on, the others just a trampoline.

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

Your mom is so stupoid she put a piece of paper on the TV and called it paper view!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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