Two men walk into a bar...They are traveling together for a convention and like pub type bars and are excited to be there.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the man have a hard time trying to open the door? The door was locked

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I would tell you a joke but I'm not funny

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you share rice between 30 Africans what do they each have? Aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black cop pull the white guy over? He was going approximately 52 miles per hour on a 40 miles per hour speed limited road.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A- a tv

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Racecar is spelled the same forwards and backwards. Masturbation does not work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Bob fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Obviously not Bob, Idiot What did Bob get for christmas? A glove Actually, I lie. He hasn't unboxed it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops