Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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What happened to the boy after his life saving surgery? He died of an unrelated disease.

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Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why are you on anti joke? Because your not funny enough to make your own jokes

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How do you get a baby to stop crying? Run it over with a lawn mower!

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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A paraplegic women falls off a boat. Regardless of the fact that she was wearing a properly inflated flotation device, she still managed to drown. She died instantly, the next day.

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what do a black guy and a white guy have in common? neither of them are purple

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Whats worse than one dead Baby in ten trash cans Getting raped by kobe

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It didn't it's a dead baby!

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Q. The farmer said where's my bucket A. Somewhere

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What did the mute man say to the president? Nothing, he is mute

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Jason. Jason who? The person who is answering the door hears a chainsaw start up and suddenly realizes that Jason is the murderer from Friday the Thirteenth. The person goes and gets their shotgun, ready to blast Jason's head of when he breaks in.

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There are two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Holy shit its hot in here!" The other muffin says, "I concur..."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a mus lim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the mus lim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the mus lim that he's keeping company with a swine, and the mus lim feels offense for the poor horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side Why did the lollipop cross the road ? It was stuck to the chicken's head Why did the chicken commit suicide ? He couldn't get the lollipop off its head

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The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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Barman: Why the long face? Horse: To support my twelve molars and twelve premolars which help me chew grass so I can swallow it properly.

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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