- Anti Joke

What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

Your momma so fat that she went to the doctor and he told he to cut down on the junk food because she weighs more than the average human being

How do you stop a baby from crawling in cirlcles? nail its hand to the floor

National security?

So I'm blowing this guy and he starts rubbing his finger through my hair... So I started thinking, what a fag.

Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.

Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

A jew, a catholic and a muslim walk into a bar. The catholic man dies of a massive heart attack and the other two men mourn their friend for weeks.

Sorry we dont serve time travlers here. A man walks into a bar.

how do you put a elephant in a fridge? open it and put it inside. how do you put a lion in a frige? you take out the elephant and put in the lion. there is a meeting for all the animals in the world which animal doesnt go? the lion because he's in the fridge. a man callshis dog and it doesnt come why not? because its at the meeting

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

A Scotsman, an Irishman and an Englishman walk into a bar... They enjoy their drinks and leave.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What did the man want for his birthday? Chicken dinner serves 2-3 people

why do you throw the baby up the tree??. to get my ball back.

What? Why?

Whiney the poo and the blustery day.

What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping your biscuit in your cup of tea.

sean punches bryce in the face, sean then says ow you just punched me in the face. that hurt

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

When the boy cried wolf who heard him? Not Helen Keller

Does an albino chameleon turn different shades of white?

What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'