What's the difference between a tiger and a shark? One's a land mammal.

What is a chicken? Because 7, 8, 9.

what do you call an albino brown bear a polar bear

why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

The Moon Landing.

I wonder where the hell Hitler is

What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

Hey I Just Met You , & This Is Crazy , But Here's My Status , So Like It Maybe ?

Why didn't Hitler go to heaven? He killed millions of jews and was an atheist.

what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

What is Corey Jacobs favorite kind of sandwich? Big Jumbo Kahona Burger!

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

A mexican and a black were in a cop car. Who was driving it? The Mexican, he was a cop and the black person was his assistant.

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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