What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

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There are stars in the sky when it's dark. You may have noticed I used a contraction in the previous sentence.

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How do you convince a therapist that he is crazy? Hide in a fortress made of sporks wearing nothing but a belt, and start hissing and throwing paint at him repeatedly.

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*Knock Knock* "Who's There?" "Delivery" "Oh right, I just ordered pizza"

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Can anyone Lenin money?

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A man walks into a store with a faulty washing machine. He provides a valid guarantee receipt at the customer service desk and it is replaced without an issue

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 8

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

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"Tell me a joke" Tom says Your life.

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What's 21 and pregnant? Ariana Grande

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Which disney princess always stays old? Snow White

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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What do you call a chicken? You say bawk bawk bawk bawk cockadoodledoo

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three people walked into a bar and there was a blackman,a jew,a white man and a nazi bartendor which ones did he shoot? The black and the jew and the white man

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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ded on boomer and aodddan

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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How many ADD teenagers does it take to change a lightbulb? Most likely only one. With advances in modern medicine, adolescents are experiencing large improvements in their abilities to focus on things from schoolwork to lightbulb changing!

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What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops