Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the man ask the woman on a date? They were both single and looking for a unique, romantic experience that could possibly turn into a long-term loving relationship.

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How do you make a bull angry? Light it on fire

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What's worse than breaking your leg and not being able to walk? Breaking your neck because you will most likely not be able to walk from the high probability of being paralyzed for the rest of your life.

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what is worse than a joke? an anti-joke.

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A shark ate your mom

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What's grey and can't climb trees? A parking lot.

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what happened to the boy who got hit by a truck he went to the hospitel

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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What happens when you put Michael Jackson in a room full of little boys? The 3 year-old rotting corpse of Michael Jackson and a room full of traumatized little boys.

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One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

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Knock Knock. Knockin on Heavens door, oh hey come in

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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How do you get a blonde with one hand out of a tree? Grab a ladder and carry her down.

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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